New Themes, Evidence Drinking is Bad, and Free Patio Furniture.
Today was filled with lots of new things. I started off by changing up my blog theme to something a little easier to read, and easier on the eyes. That required me to update my banner, because I thought the previous one was too negative.
Turns out I installed an old version of the new theme I decided to use (Vigilance) and long and behold I was getting the issues that the old version I installed was known for getting. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize I downloaded the old version so I started freaking out and emailing everyone, tweeting about it, and posting comments on the Vigilance site. I hastily updated to Wordpres 2.7 beta 3 and then figured out all my problems would have quickly been resolved if I wasn’t an idiot. But then most of my problems would be resolved if I wasn’t an idiot.
I think the main contributor to my stupidity is eggnong and Captain Morgan’s Original Spiced Rum. But probably just bad genetics. Yeah, I know blame it on the parents.
In the end I have some new Patio Furniture and a solid buzz from the eggnog and the blog is working fine, and all is well with the world. It’s hard to have to apologize for being stupid, but it’s probably good that I recognize that.
In other news I chased a grasshopper with one leg out of the house. I don’t know how often that happens, the one leg part, with grasshoppers, but it reminded me of the question, “How long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?”
I’ll tell you what’s cute though, is my wife’s absolute horror of bugs. The grasshopper innocently standing on the wall and my wife squeaking about how she isn’t sure how she’s going to get to the stairs which are at least seven feet from the grasshopper. Granted the grasshopper may be able to clear the distance if it jumps, but if it has a personal bubble that has a 7 foot radius that thing is probably tired as hell. Jenny thinks quick on her feet, and immediately grabs the book she is reading, New Moon, and holds it up to the side of her face to shield her eyes from seeing the grasshopper, which I assume she does because everyone knows if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist, and then she scurries up the steps leaving me to fend for myself. All of these things are great to note if a real crisis ever arrived. If something scarey is happening don’t look at it, but more importantly if Jenny is with me I will soon be alone, or I’ll be dealing with a woman blinded by her eyelids.
If you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist -Ignorant Logic
On behalf of your mother and me I would like to state for the record that, as much as I concede it would explain an awful lot, there has never been identified, even with all the recent breakthroughs in human genome chromosome mapping, a “stupid” gene that can be passed on from parent to child. So, for this bone headed move, I’m afraid you and Captain Morgan are on your own.
As for the Grasshopper, I hope that you didn’t send the poor handicapped creature out into the night without, at least, first offering him some of your eggnog. Your mother and I would like to think we raised you better than that.